Google “women are smarter than men,” and see how many websites you conjure up. You won’t have time to read them all. And there’s a reason for that.
Women really are smarter than men.
We won’t get into IQ tests here, although a new report says women have moved ahead. For our purposes, we’ll stick to plain old common sense.
In reading this, of course, you must keep in mind that my observations deal strictly with the only woman I’ve lived with in two score and six years. We get into trouble when we generalize, but I believe you’ll find these generalizations mostly correct:
Women know to buy in bulk: Men buy stuff when they need it, but women look to the future. When we need underarm deodorant, for example, my wife will find a store going out of business and buy every bottle of Avon deodorant, despite the fragrance. It’s been two years now, and we’re finally down to our last roll-on. Sometimes I smell like cucumbers and melons, sometimes like vanilla. Sometimes I raise my arm and get the urge to have a salad, other times to visit the Dairy Queen. But I don’t complain.
Women remember where you put things: I have a habit of laying my cars keys down on the nearest flat surface. But then I forget where they are. My wife always knows. So why do I need to remember?
Women instinctively know what to wear: I’m speaking here of what I should wear, not what she should wear. The one time she steered me wrong was when I asked if I should wear a tie to a birthday party at a country club. “No, I don’t think so,” she said. There was only one other man at the party not wearing a tie. He was drunk.
Women are able to multitask: Men normally don’t know what multitasking means, much less how to do it. It comes naturally to women. But breastfeeding while driving is not recommended. (Yes, it has happened several times. Notice I didn’t say that all women always use common sense.)
Women know when to see a doctor: Men will not get a broken wrist checked out until they can’t hold a fork with that hand. They will insist it’s only a sprain and needs time to heal. Sometimes it takes a month. “Have you ever thought it might be broken?” the woman will say. Maybe, but probably not.
Women can diagnose some problems without a doctor: Men, for example, won’t admit they have a hearing problem, but women know that the message isn’t getting through. After the man says “huh?” for the third time, however, he has no trouble at all hearing his mate. So who needs a hearing aid?
I could write a book about the many ways women are smarter than men. But several women already have, so I’ll stop while I’m ahead — if indeed I am ahead. Which reminds me of another way women are smarter than men.
— Hudgins, a former community newspaper editor, can be reached at email@example.com.