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The laws must change
May 12, 2012 | 2289 views | 7 7 comments | 40 40 recommendations | email to a friend | print

Dear Editor,

It’s sad, divorce happens every day. What started in love, ends in hate. It takes a toll on both of that union.

What really hurts is when one part of that union tells the other, I have used our child against you, I have kept our child from you. The party being told that already knows, without being told, for they have lived with that hurt.

Then the day comes, with the birth of a grandchild. The person that used their own child now uses the grandchild to inflict more hurt and mental pain. It happens every day. In North Carolina, the grandparent has little or no rights.

The laws have to be changed. The only way they will change is for the powers that be to open up their eyes and see what this does to the family unit as a whole.

I ask not for myself, but for all grandparents. Change these laws. Until you have a grandchild, and that child is kept from you, you will never know what that hurt is like. People will say, how can you miss something that you have never known? Ask a blind person that question, for they long to see the blue sky, they would give anything to see a sunset or the sunrise.

My grandchild is almost 6 years old and I have never seen as much as a picture of the child.

I did not get to see her in her cradle, I did not get to hold her as a baby. I never saw her take her first steps, I never saw her fall but get back up and do it again.

I did not get to pick her up and comfort her and tell her it would be all right.

I think about her every day. I love my grandchild that I will never get to see.

Robert Lee

Rockingham

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Comments
(7)
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mbryer
|
May 14, 2012
Sociologists refer to grandparents as "silent soldiers". They can be wonderful allies and champions for their grandchildren in time of need. Unfortunately, not all grandparents can be perceived as the little grey-haired, glasses wearing, ready to give out candy people that we like to think of them as. Some, however, are afflicated with serious, untreated mental illness and are incapable of displaying natural, normal behaviors and affection towards others. I too would want to know more about the situation before I passed judgement or even showed any sympathy for the letter writing grandfather. Is it possible that the grandfather has a past that would prevent this parent from allowing his/her child from seeing the grandfather? There are generally reasons for everything and this grandfather may not be sharing all there is to tell. The parent may know that he is unable to provide a safe and stable environment for this child.
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sunbeltlee
|
May 15, 2012
Responding to mbryer,I thank you for not passing judgement without knowing the whole story. I do agree with you there are grandparent's out there that do have mental problems, and should not be able to see there children or granchildren.I also must say that this letter was not written to see if I myself could or would get sympathy.Yes, I do have a past just like you do.If there were anything in my past that I should fear,I would not have written this letter nor would I be responding to you.There are allway's going to be two sides to every story,but then there is the truth.The truth does not hurt.Did I make mistakes in my marriage?You better believe I did. I thank most of us did. I am sorry and ashame of those mistakes,but at least I know I was wrong.Most people will not take the blame for there own action's of the past.But you tell me how much a person should pay, for there past.Is there anyone out there that is the same person as they were when they were twenty,now that they are in there fifty's. I think not,and it would be sad if they were.Life is full of life learning leassons. I have seen my share.I know that you do not know me,as far as that goes most people do not even know who they are. I have tryed to learn from my past,I learned, to not make the past mistakes over and over.In this letter no one can see what is in my heart or my mind.Take the time to come by my shop and talk to me and see for yourself who and what I am,I have nothing to hide. Robert Lee

Rockingham GUN's @ Ammo

410 E.Broad Ave.

Rockingham N.C.28379
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sunbeltlee
|
May 17, 2012
Again,I have to say thank you to mbryer.If it had not been for your letter, and comments,people in the county would have had me confused with the other Robert Lee's that live in the county.Now they know that I am the one that run's

Rockingham Gun's @Ammo.Because of your letter,I have been able to talk to quite a number of

granparent's that are in the same boat with me.

I have received a great deal of positive feedback,I just hope you were one of the people that came in and talked with me.If you have not had time to stop by and talk with me,please do so.

I would really like to get your input,and I think other's would like to know how you feel after you have taken the time to really talk to me.

Just reading my words,will not give you any real

insite as to what is really in my heart or mind.

You see, you took the time to write and post your

comments,so now you need to take the time to find out the whole story. I do thank you so much for you have been a great help, in that people in the county now do not have me confused with anyone else.

Robert Lee

Rockingham Gun's @ Ammo

410 E.Broad Ave

Rockingham N.C.
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shadylady
|
May 23, 2012
I am going through the same with the daughter n law taking our grandchildren,and i assure you we were good to her,helped her with both grandchildren from the day they were born.She [mother] has taken our grands for spite.We did everything she wanted ,but the day came when we got tired of not knowing what time of day or night she may get upset with her family or anyone and take it out on the child we kept, most of his life.Its a sad situation the childrens mother may be gone 1day as many as 4days,sometimes i'd get her on the phone just to see if she was ok,but always with a male.When she got ready to go home no matter what time or if the children were in the bath tub,bed ,eating when she called or just showed up,the child or children had to go.Its like she had to call all shots there was no trying to talk with her bc when she said jump idid for7 &1/2 yrs.We went to court to get a schedule visitation to try to make things better for the children as well as our self,but the mother would not agree to set times,with no grandparent rights she got her way and then took the children from us completely,we have been hurt for 2 yrs. now not even letting us talk to the children on the phone .She refused to let us give the children their Christmas gifts.I still hv the gifts waiting.Theres so much that we hv put up with just to see our babies,when we tried to make it better we lost everything.I cry every day or night worried about our grands.The mother was done the same way by her mother,to spite her dad,this is what she told me when we 1st met.I guess like mother like daughter.This is only a very small part of what shes done to the children as well as us.The judge told the mother it would be in the best intrest of the children to let the grandparents keep the loving relationship we had,that didn't help us at all,this mom doesn't care the babies cried wanting to visit as we cried wanting them to visit.I'm not to proud to say i begged to see our HEART BABIES. Its been over 2 yrs sinse we were allowed to see them.Please lets get Grandparent Rights
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louisblong
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May 13, 2012
You know that without knowing the circumstances it would be difficult to judge this situation but if it is only some vengence being applied to him, there is what the military calls collateral damage too, some little girl is being denied a relationship with her grandfather and being a grandfather myself, my heart goes out to him and I would suggest that he continue his efforts to see the child and also contribute financially to the expenses associaited with raising a child, especially a little girl. Be patient and exhibit some interest in her welfare and try not to adversely comment or show anger.

I am hopeing for some resolution to your situation.

louis b lomg et al
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sunbeltlee
|
May 15, 2012
Responce to Louis b lomg et al

I just wanted to thank you for having a kind and understanding heart.

May God bless you forever.

Robert Lee

Rockingham Gun's@ Ammo
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easy3
|
May 13, 2012
Dear Editor,I fully agree that mans laws should be changed.No Father or any membrer of a family unit should be told they are not allowed to see another member of that family unit.This is of course if thay meet the Qualifications of a family member.Perverts ,alcoholics,child abuse,killers,sexual abuse will Qualify for membership in the family.I feel sure the man who wrote this letter about the law change feels this way also.The good samaritan does does well but he does not take a known sex offender HOME WITH HIM.The highest court in the U.S.has seven Christians on the court today that could abolish abortion today.The same court has always had a majority of Christians on board.The abortion issue has never been about been a womans right to choose ,our maker never gave women that right.The abortion isue has all ways been about keeping the earth from becoming over populated.The Christian Crusades served the same purpose,population control and controling the lower class.Children,parents,Me-ma's and Papa's should all have their rights,after all those mentioned above have their right to disobey the law.LAW,WHAT LAW?The law has been abolished according to the ones in the pulpit.
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