To the editor:

Creating the right image during the presidential debates is the goal of every handler. As the debates begin, imagine their approach if John the Baptist were running for president.

“Nothing personal, JB, when’s the last time you had a bath? What’s with the wardrobe? Get rid of the camel hair and leather belt. You’re not running for zookeeper, you’re running for president. The PETA folks will have field day with that getup. Dark suit. White shirt. Get Mrs. Baptist to help.

“For the debates, do not refer to the leaders of the church as a ‘brood of vipers.’ We need the evangelical vote and with a name like Baptist, you are a slam-dunk. Refer to them as ‘stalwarts of the status quo.’

“Who’s that guy you keep talking about? Your first cousin, for Chrissake! That Holy Spirit and fire talk is just a little spooky, especially when you’re crunching those bugs. We don’t want spooky, JB, we want average.

“You need to tone down all that rhetoric about change. Voters don’t want change. Little less passion, lot more blah. Better health care. The education thing. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You keep that change talk up, they’ll hand your head to you on a platter.

“You get the picture, JB?”

Joe Exum

Snow Hill